Frustration

So, apparently I was wrong about the girl falling off the wagon - at the time. She did eventually, but she claims it was only for a day. I just know she hasn't been to a meeting since then (she went to one drunk) and has a different excuse every day. I removed myself from the equation, it's just easier that way. If I don't let myself care then I don't lose sleep or start dreaming that I'm smoking a fat cigar from the stress. I can't keep making her disease my disease, you know?

Yes, it is frustrating. Yes, I do love her & worry about her health. I can't do anything about any of it, so it's best not to spend every day of my life hyper-focused on what she may or may not be doing. I spent almost a year doing that & it wasn't pretty.

(Months later as I'm editing this & moving it to the new blog - she was never on the wagon, she was never sober during those months, she was just good at pretending)