Saturday, April 14, 2012
That title pretty much sums up my life, not just right now, but always, really. My mom calls me and always asks what we've been up to & honestly, we really aren't ever doing anything amazing. It's just the everyday, every day. I'm not complaining, it just makes it awkward to have conversations with people when they don't understand why I'm not going to their house weekly.
I am busy, it's just busy doing the things I want to do, like staying home, hanging out with my husband, kids and friends rather than going out there where I really still don't feel that welcome. My oldest brother recently got married, while we were all hanging out after the reception, my other brother's girlfriend verbally attacked me, out of the blue & for absolutely no reason (not that I could see, at any rate). I cried all night, even in my sleep. My mom told me to "drop it because J was sorry & crying over it." It was nice to know that my feelings in the situation don't matter to my own mother, not even enough that I was allowed to talk about it. Then she lectured me last Saturday night (my mother) about "appreciating your family" and all of that. What?! I'm always there for my family if they need me, just because I have my own life & desires doesn't mean that I don't appreciate them. It might mean that I don't have much time for people who don't appreciate me, though.
Blargh. It doesn't matter. The more I talk about it, the more it upsets me.