Tuesday, December 6, 2011
I am, in spite of everything else going on, pretty excited about Yule (and Christmas). I have no idea, at this point, if our daughter will even bother coming over that day (or if she'll be out of jail yet), and I know, for a fact, that neither of the boys will be here and I'm at peace with all of it. Troy & I have a little "Waiting for Yule" calendar we made together, with a different activity, just for the two of us, every day. It's been very sweet and nice, we're both enjoying the season and really looking forward to each day & what it holds.
Our shopping is finished, other than buying some candy to send to Erin & Alisa & her brother for their stockings, and I still need to decide if we're having stockings here at home this year or not. If so, I need to get stuffers. I just bought a bunch of new rechargeable batteries, to replace some of mine that have come up missing & those that didn't hold a charge any more, so I can take plenty of pictures of everything.
I'm looking forward to time spent with the friends that will be here the night of Yule & will miss those that can't. I think I have reached a level of peace & acceptance about the things I can't change or control, which were always the hardest things for me to accept. I think that anyone who's ever been abused in any way, has this need to control the things around them & when we can't, we feel powerless & somewhat terrified. In the past, these things have thrown me into a complete tailspin and deep depression. These days, I get a little sad, I accept it & I move on, finding something positive about the situation. I can't spend any more time in my life like this past year has been. I spent way too much time trying to control a situation that wasn't even mine to worry about and it just about sent me over the edge a few times. I'm learning, it takes time, but I'm not totally a lost cause!